I think my life will be changing relatively soon. Tay thinks I need time for myself, which is a good point.. I think I do deserve some downtime. I haven't been single or felt single since I was 14 years old. That's a long time.

Who knows who I am anymore.

Taylor is on a plane right about now headed back to arkansas, right now i'm on krista's laptop posting this as she is at work and john is fixing shit on the trailer we just bought but it was too front-heavy and was a bitch to drive on the road. i don't know how we're going to make this trip alive!

we bought a trailer last saturday for 450 big ones, started loading shit on it monday. the big computer desk we have (and the very first thing we put on it) fell on my unprotected toe and therefore i lost my big toenail. it;'s disgusting but i've been medicated enough. lots of puss coming out. pussy toe. haha. anyway, 6 mos for it to grow back. go figure.

wednesday we moved out of the apartments and got the full security deposit back, said bon voyage to potaytoe who i will always love and already miss dearly.

i just can't wait to get the fuck out of florida. fuck this state, you'll all drown soon enough. that and i've realized a lot lately, how fucked p this world is, how fucked up we as a humanity are, and how we're all doomed because mother fucking nature will get her overdue revenge on all of our souls. it's going to be one hell of a summer, just you wait and see. and you know what, if you're one of those people who say no it's not the end of the world and everything's going to be just fine, you're a fucking bitch lara geez everybody hates you anyway so just shut the fuck up about drowning, you'll burn first.

teehee. see ya'll in the mountains!

january 9th on a tuesday, john and i decided to go to south carolina on a surprise visit to Michelle and her family on Brandy's 22 birthday. had a wonderful time. but then... that friday morning we were supposed to leave, but since i don't have a job and john had never called off work, he did and said something went wrong with the car but he'd be in the next night. and we stayed another night. saturday morning we took off, not even 10 minutes on the interstate the car started smoking. huge oil leak. turned around. went to town. told it would be 1000$ to fix. so, fuck that, we wanted to get a new vehicle. bank of america sucks. i love it, but they suck. so the first guy we went to couldn't help us, and it took until tuesday to know that because the banks were closed b/c of MLKJr's bday. actually, wednesday he said we couldn't do it. so, tried ford. they couldnt help us either. sent us to other guys who couldn't help us, A&D Auto, and they sent us to J&J's Auto, a fucking junkyard. finally found out that plucky's mom Miss Kathy would co-sign. went back to A&D, and it took until friday night to actually have a S-10 chevy red pickup truck. got in at 3am 9 days later.

--

earlier this week, while taylor was moving her bed around in her room with the window open (no screen) and i shoved my mom out of the apartment without looking, the cat somehow got out. so we went frantically around the complex looking for her, calling her, and no response. a few days later, our friend nikki calls and says 'hey there was a cat splat in the middle of the road and it was a calico, but it's not there anymore.' so we thought shit, she's been hit by a car. meanwhile, it started to stink in the house. so we took out the garbage. still stunk. threw away the litter box thinking that would do it and opened up the house. the next day or two later, nikki calls, says it's still in the middle of the road! so we went to scope it out, john said it had her tail, taylor went back to go put the body in a box. she said it was so splattered, and it was too white so she didn't think it was our cat so she didn't get it. i was a fucking mess. i thought what the fuck, the cat's still in the road! i thought it had been at least picked up or something. i lost it. so, time comes around, john has to get ready for work, and then taylor knocks on the door. i answered, and she said "i killed the cat!" we went to her room, lifted up the boxspring under the mattress (no bedframes here) and the cat was smushed by the wood beams. ribcage crushed, blood everywhere. she didn't get a chance to cry, it was probably an instant death. hence the smell, hence the underlying thought in taylor's mind during this whole week, why not check under the bed? it just never occured to her but the smell got so fucking bad. it was all a horrible, horrible accident.

she died the 25th of january. we found her the 30th, we burried her the 31st.

damn i loved that cat.

--

so, the beginning of this month means a lot to me. john and i have officially been together for one year! yay! and engaged for over a month. so this month, i gotta get another job with tips and stuff so if anyone knows of any restaurants hiring, let me know! i just started dollar general tonight (i was supposed to start monday but with that cat situation, i just couldn't leave tay's side) which went very well, but with only 12 hours next week? i need more money coming in than that in order to move to south carolina in may. i can't wait for that. also, our internet and our cable is being cut off within the next 2 days in order to help save money, hence such a very long update since it'll be the last for a while. i'm sure i'll miss the internet, but i'll find better things to do. cable, that's gonna be hard. but we can do it, damn it!

2007 sure has started off rough, but that just means it can only get better. :)

Yeah.. i added way too much salt.

HAPPY NEW YEAR! Too bad i was sick the 31st, POTAYTOES 20TH BDAY OMFG. Cake, margaritas to celebrate, and then went out partying. John's brother Joe blew fire out of his mouth and so did some other guys, that was pretty sweet. Afterwords, Denny's. Oh. Yeah.

Fucking 2007. I liked 2006. With turning 18, graduation, prom, moving out, moving in, being on my own and then getting engaged. That was the perfect end to last year. Big year ahead for me! I don't know if we're planning on getting married this year, or next year.. no big rush

We are going to have our first house this year, which will be nice as fucking hell. I can't wait to have a yard again. just a few more months!

Sometimes, i wish money did fall off of trees or fly out of asses. After I get better, I'm looking for yet another job. Fuck dominos.

2007!

I got like six shirts for christmas, taylor got me the Gwen Stefani cd, but what i've been wanting to know was what John got me for christmas. He told all my friends what he got me for christmas, and i asked all of them whether or not they think i would like it. They all said yeah, i should like it. Our mutual friend Nikki, I asked if the present got her approval and she said yeah. So i was like cool, SOMEBODY TELL ME WHAT HE GOT ME!

Anyway. I opened the present last, le piece de resistance, and it was a Tredsafe box and i was like no way did he get me fucking shoes for christmas, so i open the box, and in it there's a yellow piece of paper that says "Love You, Merry Christmas Lara! LOOK BEHIND YOU!!!"

John was down on one knee, with the engagement ring. And he asked me to marry him. I was in such a state of shock! I kept asking him, you're shitting me right?!! It took me at least a few minutes to collect myself and i finally yelled YES I WILL!!!

So, we're engaged. My sister is having a fit because i'm too young to get engaged. I'm the youngest in my family, and yet i knew i was going to be the first to get married. He even got my mother's permission! And the ring is absolutely beautiful.

Mrs. Lara Anderton. Which is hilarious. Laura Anderson will be my alter ego. I love it.

so, i got a job at dominos. woo me!

it's easy work, but still has that dash of stressful environment that most fast food places have. my boss is great, only the assistant manager.. i make better pizzas than she does and i've been there less than a week.

5 months from now.. oh i can't wait.

i barely have enough money for rent, much less christmas. and we're supposed to be saving money? puh.

but you have to have christmas!


i haven't really kept in touch with anyone from high school, besides taylor (my roomie) and krista (the best friend of 5 years). high school just wasn't my thing i guess.

oh, 5 months.. john and i are intending on moving to south carolina in 5 months. and taytoe's going to tag along!

so, i'm looking forward to the best summer and the first summer of the rest of our lives.

I'm in need of a serious look at myself.

I just don't want to fight anymore.

Happy Halloweeny.

I woke up this morning with that song from Rocky Horror Picture Show stuck in my head. You know the one.

Rather festive.

Time started: 11:15am

Full name: Lara Ashley Anderton

Single or Taken: Taken

Male or Female: Female

Birthday: 1988-05-02

Siblings: one brother, two half sisters, two half brothers

Eye color: blue

Height: 5'10

What are you wearing right now: black tank top, boyfriend's pj's

Where do you live: 3 bedroom apartment

Righty or lefty: Righty.

Can you make a dollar in change right now: John could make probably 70 dollars. He saves.

-------------------------------------------------------------
Who is your closest friend: it's a duel between taylor and krista.

Do you have a BF or GF: indeed

Did you send this to your crush?: wtf?

Best place to go for a date: either secluded beach or secluded section of a restaurant (like a monday afternoon instead of friday night)

-------------------------------------------------------------
Favorites...

Favorite kind of pants: jeans

Number: 26/7

Boys Name: It's not something I think about everday, so I'm not sure.

Girls Name: I used to like Bo for some reason. I've gone through a lot of names over the years, and now I just try not to think about it.

Animal: dogs

Drink: sprite, no ice.

Sport: football to watch, basketball to play.

Month: November

Movie: jackass 2

Juice: orange

Breakfast: eggs and bacon and toast

Favorite cartoon character: Mittens or LGG!! http://www.matazone.co.uk/theotherside.html

Have you ever
----------------------------------------------------------
Given anyone a bath: no

Smoked: yes

Bungee: i wish

Made yourself throw-up: i went through that stage

Gone skinny dipping: when i was a kid

Eaten a dog: uh, no

Put your tongue on a frozen pole: i've watched dumb and dumber; no.

Loved someone so much it made you cry? Yes.

Broken a bone: left arm

Played truth or dare: when I was a kid

Been in a physical fight: Nope

Been in a police car: no

Been on a plane: several times

Come close to dying: I've probably blocked it out.

Been in a sauna: yes

been in a hot tub: yes

swam in the ocean: just the other day

Fallen asleep in school: and drooled in the book while doing so

Ran away?: they knew I was leaving, but it was in the midst of arguing, so i guess.

Cried when someone died: Oh yes

Cried in school: Yes :(

Fell off your chair: yes

Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call?: never again!

Saved AIM conversations: yes

Saved e-mails: not so into emails

Fallen for one of your best friends?: once.

Made out with JUST a friend?: No

Been cheated on?: still questionable


What is...
----------------------------------------------------------------
Your good luck charm: my ring my father gave me with my initials on it

Best song you ever heard: Coldplay anything.

What's your room like: it has four doors! two walk in closets, one bathroom, and door leading into the room. Weird art things on the wall.

What is beside you: chairs

Last thing u ate: something last night

EVER HAD
----------------------------------------
Chicken pox: i was really little and i only got one.

Sore Throat: all the time

Stitches: not that i know of

Broken nose: almost


DO YOU
----------------------------------------
Believe in love at first sight: i think somewhere in you, it clicks. but that doesn't mean you know it yet.

Like picnics: sometimes

Like school: don't go

QUESTIONS
-----------------------
What schools have you gone to: crappy ones

Who was the last person you slow danced with: i don't recall

Who makes you smile?: john, taylor, krista, my mom, anyone with anything good to say to me or about me


LAST PERSON
---------------------
You yelled at? i just threw the cat on the floor for pulling my hair.

Who broke your heart: Doesn't matter, it's all better now.

Who told you they loved you: john

Whos your loudest friend?: krista!

-----------------------------------------------------
Do you like filling these out: it passes the time.

Do you wear contacts or glasses? Glasses

Do you like yourself: yes

Do you get along with your family: for the most part

Are You
-------------------------
Obsessive?: Not so much

Compulsive? No

Anorexic?: I wish!

Suicidal? definitely not

Final questions
-----------------------------------------------------------

What are you listening to right now?: "When You Were Young"-The Killers

What did you do yesterday?: Worked, went to michelles and ate the best dinner ever.

Hated someone in your family: I used to, but the distance helps settle things easier sometimes.

Gotten any awards: art awards

What car do you wish to have: 1500/2500 dodge ram

Where do you want to get married?: st augustine, my aunt's 10 acre property.

Good driver?: without a liscence!

Good Singer: I try

Have a lava lamp: one, inactive

How many remote controls are in your house: one stereo, one dvd player, three tv remotes.

Are you double jointed: No

What do you dream about: really fucked up things.

Last time you showered: day before yesterday

Scary or happy movies: scary movies lately are getting to me too much. The Hills Have Eyes scared the shit out of me.

Chocolate or white: white.

Root or Dr.Pepper: pepper

Skiing or Boarding: neither

Summer or winter: well, here there's not much difference

Silver or Gold: either

Diamond or pearl: Diamonds

Sunset or Sunrise: both

Sprite or 7up: sprite

Orange juice or apple juice: didn't i answer this one already? oh well. apple.

Cats or dogs: dogs

Coffee or tea: depends

Phone or in person: phone is easier

Are you Oldest, middle, youngest?: Youngest

Indoor or outdoor: outdoor

End Time: 11:47PM

What the fuck is it with ex's lately.

Friday night, around 4 am (saturday literally) john's exgirlfriend went into Shell, where he works. I was pretty ticked off, especially after she made a move on him (which he denied), let him know she was living on venice island (so what the fuck is she doing in englewood at 4am?), and gave him a fucking hug before leaving after 20 minutes.

Same night (although i didn't get it until tonight) my exboyfriend leaves a message on deviantart.com saying he wants a tattoo of a drawing i did if i could link the entire piece to him. FUCK no! fuck that shit. I told him, I'm flattered, but there is no way in hell he can have any part of me on his body for life. It's mine, and he doesn't have my permission.

my fucking stomache's been bothering me lately.

I hate it when john works the graveyard shift.

I was going to quit tuesday night and leave my keys there, then a fellow manager/friend of mine Jill calls off for the next day. She wouldn't say why, and I said I'd cover for her. Instead of quitting, I pulled a double. Found out the next morning she'd tried to commit suicide and was in the hospital, only to be bacarracted(sp?!) in punta gorda a few hours later, after her stomache was pumped and wrists stitched back together. Now she's in sarasota until Monday, and her boyfriend needed our store manager to help him clean the blood stains out of his carpet. Hopefully he's already got to the phone, the walls. One hell of a week.

One hell of a mother fucking week.

We have a cat and we're not supposed to. She's so fucking tiny.

September already.

John and I are still in love, it's difficult to believe it sometimes, simply because it feels so right.

Taylor, on the other hand, what the fuck. She's getting overly sensitive to anything I have to say. She used to be quiet and weird and then she'd open up to me on the side, or just be random and awkward and i loved my taytoe. Now, on the other hand, she's either outspoken when she doesn't need to be or when she's showing off in front of her accidental boyfriend. We've been getting into little fucking fights that annoy the hell out of both of us, we just can't find a common ground anymore, because when we do, we both know it's fake and thin and it falls through the next time we talk. She's insecure of her place in this house. We have to reassure her we want her here. Last night John and I drove past where he used to live, and there are places to rent. Where he lived it was rather cheap, with water and electric included. A woman who lived in our building here, her husband passed away and she moved out within a month because she couldn't stand it, and she was sorry that she didn't put in her 60 days to our landlord. I didn't even know we could do that. I brought this up to Taylor today, and she didn't say anything. I didn't even know anything was wrong until when she left she just slammed the door. When I chased after her, she just said she has to get to work. She's had a rough day today, and I think she assumed we want to move out and john and i have talked about it or some shit. Even though that's not true, it would just be an emergency type of situation. I don't know what Taylor would do, which is why I don't want to move out. But now it's like walking on eggshells around her, I don't want to piss her off. But it's not this huge situation it's being made out to be already, I can just see this coming. Yeah, I'm an asshole. I know why things are the way they are now. I don't think she knows. And honestly, I'm in the wrong in the end. But it took two; one pushing, one willing.

That was a lot to get off my chest.

Work. Why the hell do they try and generalize shit? If Jackie (nonsmoker) and I (smoker) were the only two people closing for about a week straight, and a note suddenly pops up about managers sitting out in their cars on their break smoking away from the store, who do you think it's about? And now Brenda says it wasn't meant to be personal or something. I left her a note explaining why I was caught offguard with this, because the employees knew where I was, and I had my eyes on the whole store. I just don't fucking understand it. Unecessary stress. And John's quitting there now, maybe I should too. I could do a lot better, and I thought I was doing a lot better with a promotion, when I found out an old friend of mine started working the overnight shift at walmart starting at $9.00 an hour. I've been in the same place for two years, and I'm just now at $8.00. John's making $9.25 after four years. So I'm sure when our lease is up, I'll be wanting out.

I miss Michelle. She moved to South Carolina to be with her kids, and her daughter Brandy is due with her second child the 13th of this month, which is around when we're going to go up there and see them. I don't think I've ever seen a newborn baby. I've seen babies, but not less than a few months old.

Other than all that ranting, John and I are doing very well. 7 months solid, this is my longest relationship. In total we've been together 10 months, in general we've been together a year and four months, or met a year and four months ago. Still no complaints for that, other than odd work schedueles.

Live, Love, Be, Believe. I should design a tattoo using those words.

got my learner's liscence.

got manager's position.

applied for MCC now I just need financial aid to go through.

I have to get up at 4am, again, and john won't get home until 11pm, again. i'm sorry, how long is that? 19 hours? yeah.

monday. wednesday. thursday.
three days this week, I open, he closes. I hate this. next week will be easier.

I'm getting my hair back to natural thursday. (dirty blond for those who don't know, and for those who don't know my hair is bleached blond right now. i don't think anyone online knows.)

I want a cigarette. but I need sleep.

I really want to update, too. All that's happened so far, is so incredible, and today I realized, I'm fucking growing up. I'm all fucking grown up, like I thought I have been for a long time. but now, working 40+ hours a week, and going part time to school is going to be difficult I have to admit. I almost really don't want to. I have to keep up on bills, my relationship, friendships as well, while work is going to be bothering the hell out of me, medical aids and all these other things.. I stress about them too often. Homework, god. I don't want to go to school this term, but I have to.

But right now, what I really need, is sleep.

You know something insane?

Today, I finally got my birth certificate, on my own. WITHOUT MY MOTHER TAKING TWO YEARS TO NOT EVEM GET CLOSE TO GETTING IT.

ok, THAT was uncalled for. but yeah, i got it. so now i can get an ID, a driver's liscence soon, and whatever else.

Also, i have new work pants, considering i'm going to become a manager. MANAGER!! WOOO!

And next week i'm enrolling for college. How awesome am I? How FUCKING awesome am I?

life is happening, life is fucking happening.

it's canada day.

So.. I got a tattoo! On my left upper arm, i now have about a four inch long bird that is so cute it's amazing. The shading is blue, took about an hour and a half maybe. It hasn't quite settled in my head yet, but in about a week i have the feeling it'll sink in that this is for life. Didn't hurt that bad, kind of like the sting of rubbing alcohol in a fresh cut, but less intense and for longer durations of time.

John and his brother paid for half, i paid the rest just to get it finished today.

I'll have pictures for here soon i hope. if not, check out my DA account. :)

work.. I have the opportunity to become a manager, which is amazing and yet scary.

I got my first tattoo today!!!
My period started.
A really nice guy I work with died this morning from a heart attack. I had to speak to his wife on the phone. Not fun, or expected.
That one still hits me pretty hard.
Thunderstorms and lightning like crazy.

There was enough going on today.

And first thing this morning, on the way to work, there were three firetrucks outside near the landlord's office, and a lot of firemen filling it. That should have told me right then.

There's an opening for management/day crew PL at work, and I'm not sure yet what I'm up for. PL first though, then maybe manager within two weeks hopefully, but maybe not. Depending on whoever learns faster, the store manager said. I need the money. pretty badly.

Also got straight A's my last semester, which is fucking awesome as hell, considering I skipped several times, was smoking way too much of something, and staying out until 1am almost every night. It was completely awesome though.

I'm getting a hang of this life thing. I still don't have an ID though, so no one will sell me my damn cigarettes from just anywhere. Walgreens, this girl carded me and she looked 12, and i know you have to be 18 to work there. Stupid bitch.

John was referred to as my husband today on accident, which was completely amusing.

Michelle is a fucking moron and I'm pissed she's spending one more night with the man she is leaving tomorrow afternoon. He's such a fucking asshole, why can't she just let it go.

Work in the morning. Fuck.

So long since i've updated.

I'm 18.
John may be getting a new job soon.
I graduated. Visited with my sister for a whole weekend.
My brother goes back to the airforce tomorrow
and Iraq in January.
Hopefully I'll see him again before then.
Survived 6/6/6,
damn it.
I hope things last with me and john.
Things are so unbelievably great, greater than i'd ever imagine.
I think this is really going to work for us.

Taylor, john and plucky are all playing Tetris right now.
Taylor has heartburn, Plucky's quiet, John's john.
I'm alright, tired still from friday. Glad I have tomorrow off.
But I need to send in my admission for MCC soon.
And pay all that shit.
Tattoos soon, John's for his birthday, mine still from mine.

It will be interesting.

Thinking so much about tattoos lately, I came up with the idea that married people should have tattooed their spouse's name, or something in reflection of that person you love, treasure and are willing to put on their body for the rest of their lives, since they are already supposedly willing to be together for the rest of their lives. It's putting it to the test.

I hope I never get a divorce. I know it's already apparent that marriage has been in the back of my mind for a while. It's just there though, I can't help that.

Would everything feel this way forever?
Will it ever be this good again?

When I think into the future, I see so many amazing things that are bound to happen. And who better to share all those things with, than the one i love.

so far everything's alright. i've been out for about a week and a half, my mom's moving herself this weekend, and i'll be getting the computer tomorrow. probably no internet for about a month though, maybe longer. unless something gets arranged for my birthday, which i doubt.

things were tough with the family, but now everything's alright.

john's been having a shitty night at work, i had a shitty day at work. tomorrow we both work, which makes us both happy. the schedueling kind of sucks, but really, it's still great coming home to someone.

no one knows how different things are now. what happens when your life changes. until it does.

so, i bid thee adieu pour un moment; until un autre jour.

Bay-buh.

I hate muh life? No, I don't. But this rich text mode thing man... damn this is fancy. Feels like I'm writing an email.

I decided against applying for scholarships; the other girls are so much better than I am. I hate to say that, because it's the whole putting myself down situation. But seriously, these girls are good. BORN WITH IT good. I'm not that good. Sure, it's my passion, but it's not as beautiful as theirs. Not to mention I'm lazy and I procrastinate. Mrs. Holleran doesn't like me much for that.

Senioritis is seriously consuming me. I just want to get out of there, everyday. Art class with M(r?)s. Johnson stinks; Mrs. Matonis's class, grrgle it's fun sometimes. My favourite class actually, if I must say. DCT blows, no one can deny that one. I'm kinda worried about the whole me-not-having-a-job-still thing, but i have enough hours. Evaluation missing, but enough hours. I hate my life. English, not so bad actually. I have an A, at least I hope now that I still do. I didn't do a lot of assignments, but I made most of them up (moins deux) and completed the project on time.

Skipped school on Senior Skip Day. To celebrate, I stayed the night before at John's house. The next morning we called the apartment complex we're looking into renting, and they set up another appointment for us to meet Monday afternoon at 2pm. (This past Thursday afternoon we had a meeting at 3:30, but the guy couldn't show up, so we had to rescheduele.) We've been looking at this place for about a week, and it's perfect. The place comes with a community swimming pool, gazebo, and tennis courts. The apartment itself: Master bedroom, second bedroom, den/3rd bedroom, kitchen w/ pantry and breakfast bar, dining area, huge living room, washer and dryer. Master bedroom has it's own personal bathroom which will be sweet as all fucking hell, and another bathroom across from the den. Krista's going to help us move with her truck, michelle and michael are going to help as well. I was also thinking about getting my neighbor across the street to help with his huge truck, but that might be pushing it i'm not sure. I'm just excited, I hope we get this place. He just has to do a credit check on all of us, Taylor, John and I (which none of us are worried about, John and Tay have steady jobs, I have *plenty* of money in the bank and a promised job), and perhaps we'll have it Monday night!

Today I'm pissed about John being stuck at work due to MORONS. He closed last night, worked dayshift today and finds out Garrett can't come in until later due to a traffic class, and John's thinking Garrett just won't show up. He's a closer tonight, but he was going to quit anyways because Sara is trying to convince him to, when it only hurts Michelle and John, not the people they want to hurt. I did try getting my job back there, but Jackie won't work with me, she refused. Brenda on the other hand, offered to hire me on the spot for dayshift after I turn 18 if I wanted to come back still. Day Crew is suffering for a Production Leader (which was my position on Night Crew), with only one PL and she might get fired for sexual harrassment if a crew member is willing to make a case of it. So, that's the Burger King situation as of lately.

Other than those updates, John and I have been together since the beginning of February and moving in together rather soon which is amazing. We're both anxious and excited, no real worries are in the way. It's too soon, blah blah blah, but we've been trying to picture if we were to break up what would happen, but we can't even see a feasible reason for that to happen in the first place! If it did happen, we'd survive. I turn 18 the second of May *YAY! FINALLY OH EM FFFING GAWH!*, Graduation is the 19th of May, my brother and sister are both coming down to visit! So much is coming, and it's so soon. Spring Break is finally this week as well, and only three more weeks of school after that.

HAHA! i just kid.

i love him more and more every fucking day. it's kinda like, OHHHHH, THIS IS WHAT LOVE IS!

i need to quit freaking out about it though, before it consumes the shit out of me like it ALREADY HAS. i came home, 1am on a Monday night, school night and all that crap, and i didn't hear anything. my cell phone had no missed calls, my mom didn't try and call me once. i was just gone. and i apologized to her this morning about coming in so late, and she said she didn't really care. she knows i'm safe with john.

HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT.

i cleaned the shit out of the kitchen yesterday.. for like an hour and a half that's all i did. then i moved to my room, which took two hours and 6 garbage bags later just full of stuff. (like.. two of garbage). and i did one load of laundry, the clothes i always wear.

then, he and i met up and picked up taylor for some good KFC times. then off to Michelles, etc and so on.

I DON'T KNOW IF I MENTIONED YET THAT I QUIT MY JOB... TWO WEEKS NOTICE AND EVERYTHING!

so i'm jobless for a little bit, which i need a break anyway, but i don't really feel like i'm getting a break. i've been with john nonstop, which i don't mind, i don't mind constantly doing stuff, but i get so wrapped up in it where i don't want to leave at the time i previously wanted to be home at.. complicated kind of, but not really. Tulies seemed interested in me like over a week ago. so i'll go back in there wednesday or thursday, and see whats up.

i heard the hound cafe can pay up to 700 a week, 1,000 if it's christmas time. and it's not hard supposedly, so we'll see.

and i still don't know what i want to do with my life.